Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Schweinhund

Dangerous Dogs


Do you remember a few years ago all the fuss over dangerous dogs which lead to the Dangerous Dogs Act.

Back then I seem to recall the concern was over chavs and other low-lifes owning nasty vicious dogs which they were unwilling or unable to control.

Whiz forward to 2010 and we have two very interesting incidents involving dangerous dogs.

Police Superintendent Julia Pendry (above left) was for some unstated reason keeping a police German Shepherd at her home when it attacked and injured a neighbour's dog. It is somewhat ironic that this police officer was in charge of the Met's dog unit and the force's efforts to crack down on dangerous dogs. She has previously said "it would be absolutely fantastic’ to kill the thousands of illegal breed, dangerous dogs confiscated by police." You try saying that out loud in public and see how long it is before plod, or even worse, the RSPCA show up and have you prosecuted for under some surreal New Labour law.

Obviously as a police officer Pendry is above the law and has not faced charges or police discipline over this incident. This whole episode stinks to high heaven.

Then we have the case of Judge Beatrice Bolton (above right) who has, much to my surprise, actually been convicted of failing to control her dangerous dog. Her behaviour during her trial and her reaction to the verdict tell is all we need to know about the true nature of this pillar of the judiciary.

The question springs to mind as to what one of these women did to avoid prosecution that the other one didn't, or perhaps wasn't asked to. But there are more serious issues here.

If we accept that the Dangerous Dogs Act was brought in to deal with the problem of low-lifes and chavs not controlling their vicious dogs. Is it fair to assume that these two cases show that the woeful state of the police and judiciary is because they are full of low-lifes and chavs? I think it does and that is all that matters.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Limosine of the Damned

19 Year old student Molly Millard

Concern was growing last night over the well being of the students involved in the attack on Prince Charles' limo during the tuition fee riots earlier this week.

While non of the students actually came into contact with the royal personages it seems the close proximity of the students to the Prince and his ageing consort has caused some serious psychological problems for the students. Since their arrest by police they have received treatment at St Filthy's Hospital for Proles.

Commenting on the behaviour of the students Dr. Sven Smegmaaarsen said "We are very concerned about the symptoms being displayed by the students. Many of the young men have become very bitter and keep asking the nurses if their mothers have died yet. Others do nothing but sit in the hospital gardens talking to the plants. Some wander the grounds criticising the hospital's architecture. The majority of the rest are causing real problems. They are roaming the hospital telling other patients that if the disease they are being treated for doesn't kill them global warming will.

Dr. Smegmaaarsen went on "It's the female students we are most concerned about. Every female student who got anywhere near Camilla's side of the vehicle seems to have aged by about 30 years. We are currently looking at possible treatments but the prognosis for these girls is not good.

A source inside Clarence House has confirmed that the royal couple have suffered no ill effects from the attack. Speaking off the record she said "Both Prince Charles and Lady Camilla do not seem to have been affected by the behavior of these oiks in fact Camilla is looking 30 years younger. It's just like having the old Queen Mum back.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

The Icelandic Gambit


I see the Lib-Dum angst over tuition fees disappeared at voting time. Their high minded principles thrown to the wind in order to maintain their tenuous hold on a little power. Except, of course, the ones like Ming the Clueless, Charley "I'll have a double" Kennedy and Simon "completely irrelevant" Hughes who don't have government jobs.

The one upside in this is that the lib-dums are totally screwed. Until now they have been able to peddle the myth that, should they be given power, they would keep all their promises and be nice to everyone and everyday would be the first day of spring and.......... Nick and his gang flushed that one right down the gurgler this afternoon.

The BBC are upset. They have been running pretty solid anti tuition fee coverage for weeks while completely neglecting to mention that darling Labour originally introduced tuition fees. They also neglect to mention that tuition fees are only necessary because of Labour's stupid 50% must go to uni policies.

A courageous Prime Minister coming to power after 13 years of Labour left wing madness might have been expected to to set about the education system and to have worked to reverse the worst of the damage. Unfortunately we got the lefter than left Dave the Coward eager to build on the taxpayer bashing policies of the previous incumbent.

At home The Boy is on a gap year before taking up his uni place, Monkeygirl is 3 years behind him. So by the time they are both degreed up the family finances will be in a similar state to those of the Irish Republic.

Unlike the Irish, I plan on advising the kids to deploy the Icelandic Gambit. Having run up huge tuition debts simply refuse to pay. If necessary take their talents overseas to somewhere they will be appreciated and where the UK government can't take their tribute straight out of your wages.

Contemplating leaving the UK isn't nearly as hard as it used to be.

P.S. My hat is off to the boy. He got off his backside and actually went on an anti-fees protest last week. He managed not to get arrested, clubbed over the head or whipped into a frenzy by left wing agitators.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Hot Buttered Rum

Me (back) and my brother (front) circa 1967/8

I don't know what it's like where you are but we have had a bit of a thaw here this morning and there is noticeably less global warming laying on the ground. Nevertheless it's still pretty cold and it looks like we may be set for an old fashioned British winter.

During cold spells like this it is important to keep up an adequate alcohol intake to maintain optimum health. Hearty soups and warming casseroles may warm you up but you risk long term physical and psychological damage if your alcohol intake is neglected.

The ice filled concoctions I have mentioned previously on this blog are fine for warmer days but are not perhaps what is needed at present. So in the interests of greater public health I present some ideas for drinks which will keep you warm while also maintaining a health promoting alcohol intake.

Hot Buttered Rum

2 measures Dark Rum
2 1/2 measures water
1 tsp Brown Sugar or Honey
1 tsp Butter
1 small pinch of grated Nutmeg
4 drops Vanilla extract
1 small Cinnamon Stick

Heat rum, water and sugar/honey in saucepan until almost boiling (don't get it too hot we don't want to boil off the precious alcohol). Pour into glass with remaining ingredients and serve when butter melts.

I like to a a good slug of coconut syrup, don't be too heavy handed though we aren't trying to make hot buttered Malibu. You can use some ground cinnamon if not sticks are available.


Grog

2 measures Dark Rum
2 measures Water
2/3 measure Lime Juice
1 tsp Brown Sugar
2 Cloves
1 small Cinnamon Stick

Heat gently in a saucepan to dissolve sugar, then strain into a glass, arrrrrrrr.


Canadian Cocoa

3/4 measure Canadian Whiskey (or Scotch or Bourbon)
3/4 measure Dark Rum
1/2 measure Creme de Cacao
5 measures Milk
2/3 measure Maple Syrup

Heat milk in a small pan until simmering. Add remaining ingredients and serve when syrup is dissolved.


Caribbean Milk

1 measure Dark Rum
1 measure Kahlua
4 measures Milk
1/2 measure Double Cream
1 Cinnamon Stick
1/2 slice Lemon

Heat ingredients in a small pan. Strain into glass. Again you can use ground cinnamon if cinnamon sticks are not available.


Cafe Henry the Third

1/3 measure Galliano
1/3 measure Kahlua
1/3 measure Grand Marnier
1/3 measure Brandy
5 measures Black Coffee
3 measures Whipped Cream
Sugar

Add ingredients to glass. Sweeten to taste. Float the whipped cream on top.

Friday, December 3, 2010

The Warmists and the Whale Woman

Well the global warming is lying thick and deep across the country. The skies are leaden and threatening to drop more of the warm white stuff. I just dropped The Boy's car off for its MOT, doubtless there will be a big bill. So I'm not in the best of moods.

Still it's good to see that some folks are determined to brighten my day, whatever the cost.

On the walk home from the garage a car slowed to a halt beside me. The passenger wound down the window and asks if I know where Adams Autos is. I have already spotted that the car is a Prius. Normally all I would give this Prius driving pair is my views on warmists. Not today. Today I am in a bad mood.

"Are you looking for the showroom or the workshops?" I ask. "The showroom" responds the passenger.

"Ah, the showroom's are in the next village over, it's about 6 miles that way" I respond, waiving my arm in a generally southerly direction. "Your best bet is to turn round, take the second left, carry on for a couple of miles, then get onto the Motorway heading south, signed London. Get off at the next junction, it's only a couple of miles down the motorway. When you get off the motorway take the first left at the roundabout. Adams Autos is about a mile down that road, on the left, you can't miss it."

They offered their heartfelt thanks wound up the window and pulled away. A minute later they had turned round and are heading in the direction I had indicated. They wave and smile their thanks as they pass me. I smile and wave back.

Stupid bastards, I've never heard of Adams Autos and once on the motorway the next junction is about 35 miles south. Bloody warmists. I smile and head for the village Co-Op.

Five minutes later I'm in the Co-Op browsing for something for tea. Having picked up what I want I head for the checkout anticipating the usual 10 minute queue. Turning into the snack and confectionery aisle I am confronted with one of the village Chav females. She is a magnificent specimen of the chav life form. Fat doesn't do her justice, morbidly obese is closer but still inadequate. Her mobile is clamped to her ear as she carries on a loud conversation about what Shaz did to Daz down the pub last night. Pausing her conversation occasionally to swear at her three snot nosed kids as they run round the shop and generally make a real nuisance of themselves. It's quite surprising that such small children are able to escape her gravitational attraction so huge is this chav leviathan.

She wobbles between the displays of sweets, biscuits and crisps emptying the shelves into her basket. She seems not to be looking at what she is shoveling into her basket. She certainly isn't looking where she is going as her mobile conversation gets even louder and even more intense. Other shoppers flee her path like Pygmies fleeing a rampaging, enraged cow elephant.

As she approaches the end of the aisle she reaches for a large tin of Christmas chocolate biscuits from a display. At this moment one of her brats gets entangled in her legs, she trips, totters and falls. She hits the floor like Giant Haystacks hitting the canvas and I swear I heard the concrete floor crack. Fortunately she did not fall on the child but as she puts out her arms to break her fall her mobile goes flying through the air hitting the floor and breaking into more bits than is is good for a phone. It was a pointless exercise, her belly was always going to hit the floor long before her hands.

Like some grotesque cross between a whale and a turtle she flounders on the floor trying to turn herself over in order to get up. She curses her brats for tripping her and exhorts them to help her up. Fat chance.

The queue of people at the tills, being public spirited types, immediately went to her aid.
Pointless really, there was no way only six of them were going to get the whale woman back onto her feet. I reckoned their best option was to roll her out of the way and wait for a crane.

Me, I ignored the kerfuffle and with a huge grin on my face headed for the checkout while there was no queue. I shared a quiet laugh with the lad on the till and having paid for my purchases headed for the exit. Thoughtfully, I avoided stepping on the remains of Whale Woman's phone on my way out.

As I headed home the tow truck from the local garage passed me heading in the general direction of the Co-Op. I smiled again and my step became positively jaunty.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

USA Fears Exploding Nuns

Well Pope Adolf won't be pleased. It seems that there has been a huge surge in American catholic priests leaving the church to join the Transport Security Administration. It couldn't have anything to do with this picture of a TSA officer in action, could it?



The TSA seems to be a strange organisation. Apparently they think that having muslims search nuns is the best way to catch terrorists.


Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Meet the new Reich, same as the Old Reich




“Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer” indeed.


Well, Godfrey Bloom obviously has the EU sussed. Seems he's a dirty climate denier too.


Rattling the Sabre

Radicalised North Koreanist


So North Korea fired 250(approx) artillery rounds at a South Korean island. They managed to kill one person and wound 3 others. South Korea fired back but the nice Mr. Jong-il isn't saying if anything was hit. Outstanding gunnery, I think you'll agree.

Is it safe to assume that both sides have
Captain Ashwood, Battery Sergeant Major Williams and Gunners Beaumont, Sugden and Graham as artillery advisors on loan from the EU Army?

The other thing that struck me about this was the rush on the part of the UN, UK, USA etc to condemn North Korea for it's actions. I think it is a bit harsh to condemn all North Koreans. Surely this act or aggretion was perpetuated by radical, fundamentalist North Koreanists.

I am sure that the moderate North Koreanists do not condone or support the actions of the radicalised minority.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Mr. Potato Justice Head Bean

Mr Justice Bean

Justice, it seems, is deaf, mad and blind. It also turns out that Mr. Bean's really, really stupid older brother is a judge.

Mr Justice Bean, (presumably a friend of Mr Potato Head) it seems, is so stupid and ignorant of the law he can't identify a crime, even when shown videotape of one being committed.


Mrs. Somerville got all those nasty looking cuts and bruises by accidentally walking into a door apparently. Hmm, shades of "he fell down the police station's stairs, your honour." only less convincing.


I wouldn't mind being the next lawyer defending a yobbo in front of Judge Bean when plod produces CCTV footage as evidence.


As usual I have questions :-


1. What about the officers who grassed Andrews up? Exactly how hellish will their lives become when this yob is inevitably reinstated?

2. Will it be possible for anyone to be held in contempt of any future court over which the contemptible judge Bean presides?


3. Is Mr. Justice Bean one of the many public figures caught in Operation Ore whose name was never made public by the police? Or did he simply do a deal over outstanding speeding tickets?


4. Why are the judiciary hammering so hard on the wedge currently being driven between plod and public?


I see the Andrews fan club that is Gadget's blog (no, I'm not linking to the T shirt pushing, sheep worrier) is over the moon that their hero got away with it. He's one of their own, and most women deserve a good slap now and then anyway.

Pamela Somerville walked into a door.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Fair is a Four Letter Word



When I was young I thought the fair was great. It turned up in town about twice a year and set up on the town High Street. Bumper cars, the waltzer, the usual knock down 3 targets and win a goldfish stalls, candy floss and hot dogs, all competed for my meager pocket money. The thing about the fair was it just wasn't really fair. It was run by gypsies/travellers who would be gone in a few days so they made every effort to cheat and steal as much as possible. The rides were very expensive and short, the airguns you shot at targets with didn't shoot straight, the prizes were crap, the hot dogs gave you belly ache, the goldfish always died the day after the fair left town and only an idiot didn't check their change when paying for something.

As my dad always said, when talking about fair folk "those buggers'll have your eyes out if you don't watch 'em".

In the past few months I have been unable to turn on a radio, read a paper of browse the serious parts of the net without being lectured by the political left (including the Cleggeron Collective) about what is and isn't fair. Like they would know fair from a hole in the ground.

To these people :-

Fair is stopping child benefit to UK taxpayers while continuing payment to foreign children living in foreign countries.
.
Fair is raising taxes and cutting public services in the UK while giving more money to foreign countries.


Fair is hiding green power taxes in utility bills and allowing British Gas and other energy suppliers to raise their prices when wholesale gas prices are falling.

Fair is being part of an organisation which takes billions from the UK every year and gives it to other countries to steal jobs from the UK.

Fair is caring more for the the human rights of those who have violated other peoples human rights than the rights of their victims.

Fair is promising the moon on a stick before polling day and then breaking pledge after pledge after pledge
after pledge.

Fair just isn't fair anymore and as my aged father always says when talking about politicians "those buggers'll have your eyes out if you don't watch 'em".


Friday, November 12, 2010

Reading, Writing and Rioting

Well the big school outing to London went horribly wrong this week.

There seems to be lots of conjecture about exactly what happened and who was to blame. It looks pretty straightforward to me.

A bunch of naive students were led into a orgy of violence and damage by NUS leaders and leftist infiltrators. Behind the scenes numerous "right on" older students (aka lecturers) were pulling the levers Wizard of Oz style. Par for the course really.

The lack of action on behalf of plod to stop this "riot" is simply Paul Stephenson saying to the Cameron slime "Threaten to cut my budget would you?". For that the slime should get rid of him, along with all the other chief police officers appointed under labour. But the boy doesn't have the cojones, does he?

I agree with many other bloggers who are saying that perhaps the trashing of CCHQ while plod mostly stood by and watched will give the slime some idea of what the rest of have to put up with. Unfortunately political slime doesn't think like that.

Finally, what about the police who were injured, well sad to say I don't really care. Go back a very few years and would have felt sorry for the officer pictured below. I would have been in the camp demanding that the perpetrator be found and punished. Today the only feelings I have towards police officers injured yesterday is meh!



Thursday, November 11, 2010

Stoned on Twitter


"I grip the stone like this and flick my wrist on release. I can take an harlot's' eye out at 25 paces"


From the ever impartial BBC news site
.

"A Conservative Birmingham City councillor has been arrested over allegations he called on Twitter for a female writer to be stoned to death."

See there, the second word of the story CONSERVATIVE, just so you know we are talking about a real baby eating bastard.

Now look twittering "Can someone please stone Yasmin Alibhai-Brown to death?" is not actually "calling for her to be stoned to death". IT WAS A JOKE, funny or not that's what it was. Those to stupid to see that should be stoned to death for being so stupid.

"Erdington councillor Gareth Compton made the remark about Yasmin Alibhai-Brown on his Twitter page." "Ms Alibhai-Brown confirmed the comments were reported to the police."

I can't imagine the pain she is enduring over this. I bet it's not as bad as the pain I get from having to listen to her for the split second it takes me to turn the radio off every time she's on the BBC spouting garbage.
West Midlands Police said Mr Compton had been arrested under the Communications Act 2003 and bailed. He has since apologised.

Nice to see that the West Midlands is now such a crime free area that plod can waste time on this nonsense. The Communications Act 2003. That will be a completely fair and rational piece of new labour legislation then.

The Conservative Party has said his membership has been suspended indefinitely pending further investigation.

Stand by your beds, here comes dhimi Dave.

Ms Alibhai-Brown said she had been upset that somebody felt it "was OK" to say such things.

Well love. in countries run by members of your faith, they don't just twitter about stoning people. They do it for real on a pretty regular basis. You don't make much fuss about that do you? Being stoned on Twitter must be so much worse than being stoned for real.
She also said she found Mr Compton's attitude "loathsome"

Well Ms. Brown should certainly be an expert on loathsome.

"If I, as a Muslim woman, had said about him what he said about me then I would be arrested in these times of the war against terror," she said.

Bwahahahahahahaha. Did you manage to say that with a straight face you disingenuous bitch? If you truly believe that then I guess you really are the "Stupidest Woman in Britain".

"He does not have more of a right to say these things about me that I do about him and I think words matter when you are in public life."

Wron, wrong, wrong. In public life words mean nothing. The words you spout are worthless, the lies that dribble from politicians mouths are worthless. It is only the inhabitants of the political/msm bubble who believe such words have meaning. "Cast-Iron guarantee", "we will phase out tuition fees", "Sadam has weapons of mass destruction", "In europe not ruled by europe" ringing any bells?

Roger McKenzie, Unison's West Midlands regional secretary, said he had been inundated with complaints from city council workers outraged at Mr Compton's comments and he called on Mr Compton to resign from the council.

Oh God here comes Unison. Getting two calls (one from Ms. Brown and one from her husband) doesn't count as being inundated Roger. Still any chance to bash a Tory, eh mate? You'd still be down the boozer with you finger up your arse if a labour councillor had done this.

"It is wholly unacceptable for a public official to make such racist comments. Councillor Compton must resign his seat immediately."
Er no it isn't racist. Last time I checked muslimism isn't a race. Some call it a religion others call it a death cult but a race of people it ain't. It's comforting to know that Unison still has it's full quota of ignorant gobshites.

The Leader of the Commons, Sir George Young, told MPs the comments were unacceptable.

"Stoning to death is a barbarous form of punishment which the government and I am sure every honourable member of this house deplores, and I hope that no elected person will threaten any member of our society with that sort of punishment," he said.

Sir George Young is quite obviously a cretin. Nobody was threatened with stoning you imbecile. So stop falling over yourself to pander to muslims. You are such a tart.

Oh by the way, there are no honourable people in the house of commons so you can drop that nonsense right now.

I don't know if it is being a peaceful one that makes Ms. Brown such a self-important, humourless old trout or whether it's being a leftist that makes her that way. It's not possible for a woman to have PMT every day is it?

Nevertheless I can't agree with Mr. Compton, Ms. Brown shouldn't be stoned to death, stoning is too good for that one.

Ye Gods, do I need a drink.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Peking Phooey


I confess to seeing a deal of irony in the Cameron slime lecturing Chairman Hu Flung Dung on how China should stop being so Chinese and become more like the UK. Surely the Chinese are too sensible to take any notice of this shiny fool.

It would appear that I was a little to fast to judge. Mr. Dung it seems has not dismissed the slimes advice for the waffle it is.

Via my contact deep inside the Chinese party machine I have a copy of a memo from Mr. Dung to senior party members. I reproduce it below for the edification of the dear reader.

To: Senior Party Members (Eyes Only)

From: Hu Flung Dung

Following the recent visit of the round eye Cameron I am minded to take some of his advice. I instruct you all to consider how your departments can facilitate the proposals on the list below. Reply to me with your departmental proposals by next Wednesday.

1. Replace all this hammer, sickle and star symbolism with something friendly, green and vacuous.

2. Increase tax and regulation on profitable businesses so it becomes more economical for them to move to eastern europe.

3. Make joblessness a lifestyle choice and increase taxes on those who insist on working so the jobless can have a better lifestyle than many working fools.

4. Send all managers from our state broadcaster to the BBC for training in broadcast impartiality.

5. Stop building coal fired power stations and build olde tyme windmills instead.

6. Hand over all significant government power to foreign countries (Japan/Taiwan/Russia perhaps) and then give them huge amounts of our money with which they can make our people's lives a misery.

7. Senior police officers to be enrolled in the new ACPO sponsored Mark Andrews School of Policing. I don't want any comments about how our police are too violent already. Believe me our worst have nothing on this Andrews character.

8. Implement mass immigration from Pakistan, Indonesia, Iran, Iraq, Yemen etc. Then allow the immigrants to decide how our indigenous people are allowed to behave. Note to Department of Transportation - We will need to widen the door on all buses and trains to accommodate travellers with backpacks.

9. Implement tuition fees for higher education to such an extent that the majority of students who could achieve great things for the country with a good education behind them can no longer afford to go to university. This will also free up money to send as foreign aid to India and the like. I understand India needs the money to gold plate its space rockets and provide hover cars for it's senior politicians.

10. Abandon communism and implement a democratic two party system where the parties have different names and members but have identical policies and equal contempt for the populace. Note to Dept of Interior, we may need to bring in postal voting so the immigrants mentioned in point 8 above can engage in the election rigging they are so fond of.

Finally, in future please refrain from addressing me as Mr Chairman, or Honourable Leader. From now on just call me Hu.

Monday, November 8, 2010

What do you get if.........

Was this the scene in Red Millipede's bedroom 9 months ago?


What do you get when you cross an "Environmental Barrister"* with a useless, trade union puppet?

Well obviously, you get a bastard.

Like father like son, as they say. What really gets my goat is that my children will be the taxpayers who end up keeping Milliband's latest bastard in the lap of luxuary once it hits 18 and moves from suckling at it's mother teat to suckling the public teat. Just as I am paying for Millipede the bastard farther today.

* No I don't know what an environmental barrister does either. Maybe she prosecutes people who melt polar bears with flamethrowers.

I came across this while googling "melting polar bears with a flamethrower". No polar bear melting but some of the stuff gave me a giggle a little.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Big Rock Joe

Cameron is still being a twat, the BBC is trying to ignore the arse kicking Seamus O,Bama got yesterday. Nobody has nuked Brussells and Strasbourg. The warmists are still spreading stupid around the world and my head hurts. It's all too depressing so kick back have a drink and listen to these.

Go on tap your feet to this one



And this one



There, doesn't that feel better?

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Petite Merde Socialiste


So the lilly-livered coward lieDave shows his true colours, a circle of gold stars on a blue field.

He stands there lieing through his teeth about Britain remaining a sovereign nation while he gives away our armed forces to the EU, throws billions of pounds we can't afford onto the EU gravy-train and claims he is powerless to stop an EU court decision to give prisoners the vote.

None of it adds up lieDave, if we are a sovereign state why can't we refuse to give more money to the EU, why can't we tell the EU courts to get stuffed, why are we joining forces with our ancient foe who will sell weapons to our enemies then turn tail and leg it at the first sign of trouble?

You are a twister, a liar, a con-man. You are not fit to travel the same streets as common working people. You are not fit to wear the poppy that symbolises the dead who fought to keep this country free. You are a puppet of your eurpoean masters, a grotesque caricature of a leader.

If I was Mrs. Cameroon I'd be having the kids DNA tested to make sure they were mine.

In short you are un petite merde socialiste*

I thoroughly recommend this book.

* Babelfish translation, could be Italian for all I know. If it's wrong I'm sure you can work out what I meant.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Scrotum, where's my revolver?

The day I have long feared has arrived. I've sent my ever faithful, wrinkled retainer, Old Scrotum* to fetch my service revolver. I will shortly retire to the library with a large scotch and the revolver to do the decent thing.

What has brought me to this end?

Sad to say I am in agreement with Harriett Harman.

Danny Alexander is a ginger rodent.

Ah well nice drop of scotch that, and so, goodbye cruel world.

* Apologies to Vivian Stanshall and Sir Henry

Is Andrew Suter a Mongtard?

Damn right he is. Nick Duerden is one too :-

'Daddy, where will the polar bears live?'

Some of the boldest eco-warriors are those with the most to lose – our children. Nick Duerden argues that when it comes to getting parents to go green, pester power is a force to be reckoned with.

Oh deary, deary me. If you are a masochist the full sorry article is here.

Suffice to say the writer of this piece is an idiot whose daughter should be taken away and given to people who will raise and educate her properly.

And Andrew Suter is a complete mongtard who says "children themselves have yet to question the veracity of climate change, "chiefly because they are children. They are not cynical yet.""

Not cynical but gullible as hell eh Andy?

Jesus Christ when The Boy was four I had him convinced that our family were all aliens, here on Earth merely to observe human beings and that by the time he was 18 we would be back on our home planet, Vogon.

What do we call people who take advantage of gullible children Andrew? Apart from calling them warmists, obviously, we call them con-men, some we even call perverts.

Children are being indoctrinated with warmist myths and scare stories when they should be encouraged to question and reason for themselves. Mind, if they have seen the 10:10 snuff movie they'll probably be too scared to question what they are being told.

If AGW was real they could teach children the science which proved it. They would not be resorting to the methods employed by that Goebells bloke in the late 1930s. Mind back then pester power got you sharp smack upside your head.

Remember folks AGW indoctrination of children is being paid for by your tax money and in case you hadn't noticed we are no longer governed by a red New Labour Government.

Friday, October 29, 2010

How Many Thugs in Blue

does it take to beat up a stab victim?

About a dozen apparently!!!

This happened in August 2010. None of these rogue rozzers has even been suspended over this.

Merseyside's finest even tried to charge the victim with Assault on Police. Funny I can't see any police officers in the video. All I can see are thugs in uniform.

How many times can a plod punch you on the back of the head, while you lie restrained on the ground before it goes beyond reasonable force?

I'm sure the Chief Thug of the Merseyside force is livid about this, all those yobs attending one incident when they could have been fining motorists or beating up other drunken people.

The violent plods in this video are scum and so are the senior officers who are covering for them. Doubtless Mr Grace will receive a lump of taxpayers money for his pains and the "officers" involved will receive words of advice and move on to their next victim.

Less a Churchill, more a Quisling


Dave Quisling-Haw-Haw pulls the chain on another £450 million of our money

Shiny iDave, who art in Brussels,
reviled be thy name.
Thy day will come,
thy will be done,
with rope on a scaffold.
Give us no more thy lefty bullshit.
And give no more, Our money to Strasbourg,
as we take thy tax hikes and job cuts.
And lead us not into deep union,
but deliver thy referendum.
For thine was the promise, cast iron, and plighted. for ever and ever.
Blue Labour.


After his one to one with Mr. Barroso brave Dave gritted his teeth and shuffled off to the proctologist

I do not know how this cowardly, traitorous vermin has the brass neck to wear a RBL poppy. I'll be sending him a white feather to wear instead.

Updated coz I clicked the post button too soon.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Stamp Your Little Feet


All in all Mr. Cable thought the plastic surgery had gone rather well.


I just had a couple of days leave from work so without the daily dose of completely objective Toady show and PM programme, during the commute I am a little out of touch with events. Didn't get round the blogs either because I was visiting New Vegas and enjoying my stay very much. Turning on the car radio as I started my drive this morning it was something of a surprise that the world hadn't ended as a result of the Frogswpawn's CUTS. Sadly the BBC, unions, welfare scum and public sector non job holders are still in denial and seem to think that their endless bleating and strike threats will make it all go away. A couple of stories caught my eye/ear today. So to ease myself back into the blogging yolk here's a few short sentences on those.

"DAVID CAMERON VOWS: I’LL BLOCK 6% RISE IN EU BUDGET
"

So Wavey Davey has vowed to stop this. Why not a "cast iron" promise I wonder?

Vow, cast iron promise, tomardo, tomato, eh Dave?

Let's face it if this budget increase is stopped it will be stopped by Frau Hilter or Msr. Shortarse not by the shiny coagulated nonce.


Firefighters to strike on Nov 5th

Oh no they won't.

Even the malignant lefties of the Fire Brigades unions understand that if anyone were to die as the result of their strike over shift pattern changes, the bad publicity would turn them and their members into pariahs.
God help them if such a fatality turned out to be one of the "peaceful ones".

So Mr Wrack, have your little tantrum, stamp you little feet, put your placards up, get you fire station picket lines organised. Don't forget your "Honk if you support us" signs. Then we will see how many honks and how how many two fingered salutes you get.

I appreciate there are many dedicated firemen out there who do not support the prospect of striking. My hat is off to you and the work you do.


And Finally

Housing benefit is to be capped at £400 per week. YOU WHAT?

That's £20,000 per year, tax free. It is imorral to tax working people to the extent prevailant in this country while giving £20,000 to people so they can live in big houses they haven't earned.
If £400 is the new cap how much are they getting now?

"In central London, the Local Housing Allowance gives families in four bedroom homes up to £1,000 per week to pay their rent. So families in Westminster and parts of boroughs such as Camden could be worse off by up to £600 per week, or £31,200 per year."

I can't tell you how much my heart bleeds for those having their free money reduced from £1,000 to only £400 a week. How about we do away with this "benefit" altogether and make them do what I have to; live in a house I can afford from what I am allowed to keep of my wages.

It sounds to me like some landlords have been doing rather well on my tax money. Maybe they will be forced into charging less ridiculous rents or face having their properties empty.


£1,000 per week, I suppose Blair and Brown were happy to spend that much of our money to secure more labour voters into these areas.

This is all too depressing. I'm going back to New Vegas.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wee Georgie Frogspawn Versus Monkeygirl

Well it was Wee Georgie Frogspawn's big day and it looks like he blew it. So I won't bother with that just now.

My "alleged" daughter, I've not had her DNA tested yet, had a Cookery lesson at school today. Chicken pies was the task.

Arriving home from work, Monkeygirl is on hand to display her culinary handiwork. They looked OK, golden pastry, smiley face motif, the rest of the class had decorated theirs with pastry leaves, as per teachers instructions. The girl shows some individuality, the force may be strong in this one.

Thing is I really don't like meat pies of any description. It's probably fair to say that I'd rather snog a yak than eat a meat pie. But a dad's got to do what a dad's got to do. And if it gets me out of doing the cooking for a night.......

A little later I'm called to the dinner table, The Boy, knowing what was on the menu had made himself scarce, binge drinking or glue sniffing with his mates in town probably, damned coward.

I took my seat, Monkeygirl smiling at me expectantly. I grasped my battling irons firmly and cut into my pie, putting a forkful into my mouth I thought of England, Land of Hope and Glory starts playing in my head, I felt my upper lip stiffen.

I chewed, cut more and chewed, bloody hell it was good. That fearful pie was one of the most delicious things I have eaten in a long time.

They had taught Monkeygirl how to make this superb Chicken Pie from base ingredients in an ordinary school after 13 years of labour "government". They must be doing something right. Mind it's a pity she can't read, write or add up.

Anyhow, I can hear the ingredients of a Long Island Iced Tea calling me and I no longer care how badly Wee Georgie has blown it.

Thanks Monkeygirl.








Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Rogue Rozzers


Is it Paul Whitehouse on a bad hair day?

Is it a bad female impersonator?

Is it a tramp who just scored a new suit at the local Sue Ryder shop?

No, this apparently is a Superintendent of police and a Detective Superintendent at that.

Charlie McMurdie is head of Met's Police Central e-Crime Unit (PCeU) and according to The Register she seems to have been a very naughty lady plod. According to Judge Sandra Pontac the lovely Charlie told bare faced lies under oath at an employment tribunal in an attempt to cover her arse and that of her side kick Detective Inspector Kevin Williams.

This sort of behaviour by police officers no longer surprises me, especially when it involves the Met. It is merely demonstrates how increasingly dishonest the police are becoming. I also suspect dear Charlie may be another example of someone being promoted way beyond their capabilities for the sake of political correctness.

It will be interesting so see how the Met deal with the allegations. The judge made her remarks on the 13th October (as far as I can work out). That's almost a week ago I would have expected the alleged "criminal" to have been suspended, or possibly even arrested and bailed while an investigation was carried out. After all that is what would happen to me or you (any visiting plods excluded natch).

Strangely I can't find anything about this on the BBC news site, I'm not the best searcher but somehow I just know they are very unlikely to cover a story about the bad behaviour of an over promoted, unmarried woman of Miss McMurdie type.

It seems it is not only the beeb which is neglecting this story. Coverage by the dead tree press is somewhat thin. The Independent has coverage of the earlier hearings in the case but not the latest developments.

The final two paragraphs of the Indy story are real gobsmackers:-

"DI Williams received "words of advice" – the lowest form of disciplinary action in the Met police – for cheating and instigating false disciplinary proceedings, and was recently appointed to a counterterrorism role."

Words of Advice and a posting to a cushy anti-terrorism post for cheating his way into a job and starting false disciplinary proceedings against a fellow officer to destroy his career. You try lying your way into a job. If you get caught and the company calls plod they may well try to have you up for Obtaining Pecuniary Advantage by deception. Words of bloody advice.

A police spokesman said: "The Met encourages staff to challenge inappropriate behaviour and report wrongdoing so it can maintain high professional standards, and the trust and confidence of staff and the wider community."

And in reality, grass someone up and you are finished my son. "Maintain high professional standards", Jesus H Christ on a tricycle the bloody Pakistan Cricket team know more about high professional standards the this lot.

I suppose we should be grateful that this allegedly mendacious cow and her dodgy sidekick have only cost us tax payers £38,000 plus the real cost of the trial. At least this time some poor sap isn't going cold on a slab or lying bleeding in the corner of a police cell.

Mind you if Not Very Tall, Bald Paul had his way, there wouldn't have been a tribunal for this bitch to lie to.


Sunday, October 17, 2010

Bird Mincers are the Wrong Colour

"A study has revealed that a wind turbine's colour affects how many insects it attracts, shedding more light on why the turbines occasionally kill bats and birds.

Scientists say that turbines, most commonly painted white or grey, draw in insects. These then lure bats and birds - as they pursue their prey - into the path of the turbine blades."

I'd love to know what insects the vulture in the video below was after. Is there no end to the crap the All New , Unbiased on Global Warming BBC will put out.


Swedish men hate their women, Serb men hate their gays.

Swedes should love their jobs more than their Children

Oh deary me, those awful, awful Swedes, only the men obviously.

Sweden has slipped from 1st to 4th in the World Economic Forum's Gender Gap Index. Bastard Vikings, and here's me thinking the Gender GAP Index is some sort of mail order clothes catalogue.

Men are only using about one fifth of their 480 days paternity leave entitlement.
Maybe that is because women are much better at child care than men. Maybe that's because we evolved that way.

"This conflict between employment and childcare stops women from becoming economically independent, and reinforces the notion of men being the principal breadwinners."

It couldn't be that some women believe that providing a stable home and caring for their children properly is far more important than working to fill their home with consumerist crap.

"I would say that equality between the sexes should be the benchmark by which a society is judged as a good or bad place."

If you really believe that is the best benchmark then I would say that you are a retard. You're not though are you? You are just a nasty little totalitarian lefty.

"Or should it allocate parental leave equally between the father and mother and force them to use it?"

Oh so this is nothing to do with individual choice then. Women who value their family more highly than daily 9 to 5 drudge are wrong. Women who believe their children are better off with them than being shoved into Kiddie Kennels every day are wrong, You fascist bint.

I'm surprised that someone so concerned with women's rights had nothing to say about the situation in Malmo. The religion of peace isn't known for it's sexual equality.

Ah well not to worry,
"Every day next week, BBC World Service's The World Today programme will focus on the movement for gender equality. Among the influential women giving their views will be........ and top UK barrister Cherie Blair."


Cherie Blair, what better example of working "motherhood" could their be?

As you can imagine I am thrilled that my telly tax is being used to spread such lefty crap to the whole world.


Serbian crims hate gayers

As we in the UK knows gays are wonderful, why can't the Serbs get with the programme?

"Serbia, still emerging from the darkness of the Yugoslav wars and diplomatic isolation in the 1990s, now seemingly at war with itself."

Er no. There are just a lot of blokes who don't like gayers but without their own BBC to guide them they just don't understand what a great asset to their country a vibrant gay scene can be.

"These groups are extremely right-wing and clearly have a political goal", says Zoran Dragisic, a professor of security studies in Belgrade.

Er no. There are just lots of blokes in Serbia that don't like gayers.

"I am worried that this violence could be very dangerous for Serbia's European ambitions"

Ah, the EU doesn't like countries where there are lots of blokes who don't like gayers.

"They are close to organised crime and are sending a message that they don't want Serbia to join Nato and the EU."

Er, I think they are trying to send the message that they don't like gayers.

"If Serbia becomes a member of the EU, they can't perform their criminal activities in the same way. I am worried that this violence could be very dangerous for Serbia's European ambitions".

BWAhahahahahahahahahaha. Only a low grade moron would think EU membership would do anything but increase the Serbian mafia activity. Mind the Serb crims could probably learn a thing or two from the criminals in Brussels.

Shame In Serbia My Arse.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Translating Vince

It was a moment of truth for the lib-dums. Sadly they didn't so much step up to the plate as leg it out of the stadium and get the eco friendly bus home.

You remember the lib-dums don't you? Remember, the nice sit-on-the fence, be nice to everyone, sniping at the two big parties and telling everyone how they could do much better and everything would be nice and fair and progressive and nobody would have to pay for anything.

For such a bunch of self proclaimed do-gooders they certainly betrayed their starry eyed voters with consummate ease.

So for any lib-dum voters out there who are still unsure about what happened today, allow me to translate old man Cable's speech on university fees into words you can understand.

Over to you Vince;
"We like being in power, it makes us feel important. Doing what David tells us is the only way we can remain in power. We are more than happy to forget our principles and renege on each and every promise we have ever made just to hold onto our little bit of power. So Bugger the students, bugger the voters, bugger principle, bugger everything, Long live the COAGULATION!!!

Lib-dums, scum on stilts.


The Madagascan Fish Ferret


From the BBC's Earth News (Reporting life on Earth), funny I thought that's what ordinary, everyday news did, hey, you live and learn.

"A new species of carnivorous mammal has been discovered in Madagascar."

Excellent, so tell me all about it.

"The mongoose-like creature has been called Durrell's vontsira (Salanoia durrelli) in honour of conservationist Gerald Durrell."

Very nice, I'd have called it the Madagascan fish ferret but each to his own.

"Its marsh habitat is under pressure from invasive species and pollution, and the team thinks it could be one of the world's most threatened mammals."

No details on which invasive species, probably Poles going over there, eating their fish. Oh and of course pollution, just pollution, no specifics. The team "THINKS it COULD be ONE OF the worlds most threatened mammals." Ah well if the team thinks this is the case I'm sure they will want more money to investigate just how threatened it is.

"During the same expedition, the scientists sent one dead specimen to the Natural History Museum in London."

I presume the dead one was the one the lad in the picture is strangling. I mean these things are really rare what are the chances of finding a dead one lying about which hasn't been scoffed bu one of those nasty invasive species.

"We know of only two animals in the wild. It has only been found in the wetlands of [Lake] Alaotra in Madagascar, so it lives in a very small area and is consequently vulnerable to the pressures on this threatened habitat."

Sounds like supposition to me, just because they have only seen two doesn't mean there aren't any more. Maybe they are looking in the wrong place. Maybe the Madagascan fish ferret has the Roual Moat gene and is just very good at hiding. If I was one of these creatures I'd sure as hell hide every time I saw a knobhead researchers who looking to take blood and tissue samples and perhaps strangle me so I could be sent back to London for dissection. Oh, go on then sling in another mention of the "threatened habitat".

"It is classified as Endangered on The IUCN Red List."

Oh no not the IUCN RED LIST!!!! I don't know anything about the IUCN but a couple of their featured stories tell me all I ned to know about these idiots.
"New study shows over one fifth of the world’s plants are under threat of extinction"

I have no idea how they worked this out. Nobody really knows how many plants are on the planet so how can they know that one fifth are in danger.

Why is biodiversity in crisis? The escalating extinction crisis shows that........

What extinction crisis, oh of course, that's just a universal phrase which precedes a demand for more funding, pretty much interchangeable with global warming. Again nobody knows how many species are on the planet so this is just more alarmist speculation.

What could have been an interesting story about the discovery of the Madagascan Fish Ferret is used to promote the enviroloon agenda. It's trash, full of waffle, eco-wheenie buzz words and alarmism, some opinion but zero science.

BBC on top form.


Updated coz I forgot the pic

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Death of an aid worker

Aparently the Great Obamases and iDave have spoken about the death of aid worker Linda Norgrove.

In a joint statement, expected to be released later today, they will announce that the death of Miss Norgrove was all the fault of BP.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Utter Nonsense

Mr Andrew Marr on bloggers :-

"A lot of bloggers seem to be socially inadequate, pimpled, single, slightly seedy, bald, cauliflower-nosed, young men sitting in their mother's basements and ranting. They are very angry people.

"OK – the country is full of very angry people. Many of us are angry people at times. Some of us are angry and drunk. But the so-called citizen journalism is the spewings and rantings of very drunk people late at night. "It is fantastic at times but it is not going to replace journalism."

"Most of the blogging is too angry and too abusive. It is vituperative."


Okey Dokey big ears, you are right there are a lot of awful blogs but they aren't the ones your worried about are they? I heard part of your pontification on the radio and the impression I got was that you feel threatened by the what is happening in the blogosphere.

So it seems you feel threatened by us socially inadequate yadda yadda yadda....................angry people. Or could it just be that your description of bloggers is about as perceptive, accurate and truthful as the rest of the crap you spout.

I have insulted one or two people on this blog Andy and I generally try hard not to use foul language. In your case I can only resort to one of the foulest pieces of name calling I know.

You, Sir, are a BBC employee, a beeboid.

Not Very Tall, Bald paul


Too much stupid for one photo.


So, secret little fascist "sir" Paul Slaphead has unveiled his masterplan for saving rogue rozzers from the wrath of the bereived, maimed and abused.

Cunningly the ex-Tesco shelf stacker has included an idea to circumvent employment tribunals. Presumably so that he doesn't have to compensate any Christians/Hindus/Budhists/Jews sacked for wearing symbols of their religion while shoveling compo at the likes of this fine example of police officership.

Finally the folically challenge, potential retifist has decided that all these damned FOI requests are putting too much embarrassing information into the public domain. So he's come up with a wizard money making wheeze to make us pay to see the information our taxes already paid for. A bit like a bank charging you to withdraw your own money.

Presumably when he finds out what the blogs are saying about this he will want obstacles placed in the way of bloggers. Six feet of earth I imagine.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Pomegranate Polecat

This evening I have mainly been drinking :-

Pomegranate Polecats (Deniersaurus mix)*

Ingredients
1.5 measures White Rum
1 measures Tequilla
0.5 measures Amaretto
1.5 measures Pomegranate Juice
1 teaspoon Caster Sugar

Method
Shake and strain into glass three quarters filed with broken ice.

Nutritional Information
I've already drunk it and I don't really care.

* For original mix replace 1 measure Tequilla with 0.5 measures of sweet sherry. I suspect this cocktail may have been invented by someone from the WI

Deal or No Deal

Well shiny Dave Cameroon you really are full of crap aren't you.

I know this was a conference speech but you don't expect us ordinary folk to buy the cobblers you are pushingl, do you?

"We're all in this together", "We must all pull together", how jolly progressive, call me Comrade Dave.

You say my country needs me, well matey boy, I have been doing my bit for a good number of years now. And during these years what have I seen the political class do to my country?

I have seen the rise and rise of the ranks of the feckless getting fat on the sweat of my brow. Mass immigration aimed at destroying our national identity making it easier to integrate us into the EUSSR. An ever bloated NHS fixated on targets not healthcare while it sucks wealth from the country. A once valued police force which is now widely distrusted, feared and despised. Imprisonment within the political abortion that is the EU. An ever growing political class that leeches on my country and cares only for their own power and wealth to such an extent that they will happily run a country into the ground through their vanity and ineptitude.

Do you really think I wanted or even agreed with any of this? Nope I was just expected to shut up and pay my taxes while my rights and beliefs were removed and undermined.

It was the political class that brought our country so low and it was the political class that got us in this current financial mess. You are one of the political class Dave, you always have been. Shiny and clean you may be on the surface, but inside you are dirty, dark, bought and paid for. You are no different to the Blairs, Browns, Cleggs, Obamas, Chavezes, Kinnocks and Barrosos of this world.

Well Dave, as you say, my country may need me, I'm just not sure I need or want it. Basically you are asking me and the millions like me to pull you out of the crap, because, let's face it, without us you are screwed. You can't do it on your own can you? The country's army of workshy benefit scum can't help. The unionised public sector can't help and wouldn't even if they could. Your bum chums in the EU can't help. So without us you might as well dissolve the coagulation and call an election, we'll get a new set of blue, red or yellow lefty bloodsuckers spouting the same old crap so it makes no odds to me.

Well if you want my help it's going to cost you, I'm fed up of doing my bit while you lot leech off me and erode my rights and values so this time I want something in return and I want it up front because your credit rating is crap and I, for one, have no faith in your cast-iron guarantees.

So here's a list of things you need to do to get me on-side

1. Give us a straight forward "should we stay in or come out of the EU" referendum
2. Disband ACPO as a first step toward restoring a British police force rather than the european model thugs they are becoming.
3. Repeal the Human Rights Act.
4. Have Chris Huhne shot (or sacked, provided he never again holds a government post).
5. Put in train legislation to sell the BBC to the highest bidder.

Once you have me on side you are going to have to do lots of other stuff to keep me on side. I'll get to those if and when you have sorted requirements 1 to 5. Until then you can wander about shouting about fairness, progressiveness, fairness, pulling together, fairness, big society and fairness as much as you want and I'll just continue to laugh at you, you smug, shiny little twat.

Do we have a deal Dave?