Monday, June 21, 2010

Paint it White

Peruvian inventor, con-man and warmist nut job Eduardo Gold is attempting to persuade Andean glaciers to start reappearing by painting the Andes white.

Interviewed by our South American corespondent Mr Gold said. "The glaciers migrated to the Antarctic when the temperatures in the Andes rose above those needed for breeding glaciers to procreate. We are hoping that by painting the mountains white we can encourage the glaciers to return."

Pressed on why the painting the mountains would bring back the glaciers Mr Gold replied "Glaciers are very choosy about where they live. By painting the mountains we believe that they will look more like the Antarctic and so be more appealing to migrating glaciers. With luck and enough paint we believe we can attract at least one breeding pair to settle in the Andes."

Asked how he secured $200,000 from the World Bank to undertake such a stupid project he replied "It wasn't easy, we spent years studying the Peruvian Andes from which we produced a 3000 page report which we submitted to the World Bank who obviously saw the merit in our case."

When our reporter pointed out that the 3000 page report contains no information but is merely an endless repetition of the single sentence "Global Warming scared our glaciers away, help help, send money". Mr Gold signaled the end of the interview by running to his brand new Lamborghini Mercielago and driving away.

I really wish I could say I had made this one up.

Surely it is only a matter of time until THIS actually happens.

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