Huhne is the new Hoon

Chris Huhne, the Cleggeron Secretary of State for Returning the UK to the Dark Ages has come under serious pressure to resign today following revelations that 80% of the wind turbines in the UK are not in fact wind turbines. Rather they have electric motors which draw power from the national grid to turn their blades and give the impression that they are generating electricity.

Speaking on the BBC Toady Programme he said. "Look the people who are getting upset about this are missing the point. Wind turbines were never about generating power. I mean, come on, what sort of idiot do you have to be to think wind turbines are as good as traditional electricity generating technology? No, the turbines are a symbol, a symbol of our belief in magic and the old ways."

Asked how the UK would prosper with few real power stations and thousands of windmills drawing current from the grid rather than adding power to it he replied. "I don't see why we need all this electricity in the first place. Surely a couple of biggish power stations would be enough to provide sufficient power for London and to keep the Eurostar going, what more do we really need?"

Asked to justify the cost of the windmills, especially the 80% of non productive units he responded "This money has not been wasted, far from it. The investment in wind power has provided many of my friends with worthwhile employment from which some of them have become even richer than me. So you can see there is money to be made for the well connected person in Britain with progressive thinking initiatives like this."

Some environmentalists are angry at what they call "the wholesale slaughter of millions of birds by these follies to government stupidity". However a spokespillock for the RSPB said "Birds are stupid, OK. If they can't be bothered to watch where they are going when they are flying about the place they get what they deserve. Besides we have millions of birds, do we really need them all? Don't forget to sign up for green electricity through our web site.You will get nice fluffy electricity and the RSPB gets a tenner to put towards our vital work saving the wild birds of Britain."