Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Kill the Stupid

When I was young I liked television much much more than I do now. There were some programmes I couldn't stand even back then. Opportunity Knocks, Dee Time and Jukebox Jury were my number one hates followed pretty closely by anything involving Bruce Forsythe.

I was naive back then and I assumed that these programmes were only on the telly to make sure people turned it off and went and did something more useful. I also thought that these programmes were used as a way of keeping our country great. Surely I thought after each of these programmes the studio audience was taken round the back of broadcasting house and quietly shot. To my mind this was a very good way of removing undesirables from the gene pool. What possible use could these type of people be to England.

Imagine my disappointment when I found that this wasn't the case. Imagine how much better off the country would be if it had been true. By now we could have completely bred out the gene that compels idiots to want to watch talent shows. Imagine no more Dancing with Tarts no more Strictly Soft Porn and no more Britain’s got Retards.

I would be especially keen to try this out on Question Time audiences as proof of concept.


  1. "Britains got Retards"

  2. A good idea would be to bring back Runaround. The audiences of the talentless shows that you mentioned could be made to "Runaround" Silverstone whilst the audience made up of non stupids who would rather eat their own eyeballs with a rusty garden trowel throw handgrenades at them. This would kill two birds with one stone, 1: It would reduce the stupidness of the genepool 2: It would help fund Silverstone so that it could be used for further genepool cleansing programs 3: Help the Aged