Deal or No Deal

Well shiny Dave Cameroon you really are full of crap aren't you.

I know this was a conference speech but you don't expect us ordinary folk to buy the cobblers you are pushingl, do you?

"We're all in this together", "We must all pull together", how jolly progressive, call me Comrade Dave.

You say my country needs me, well matey boy, I have been doing my bit for a good number of years now. And during these years what have I seen the political class do to my country?

I have seen the rise and rise of the ranks of the feckless getting fat on the sweat of my brow. Mass immigration aimed at destroying our national identity making it easier to integrate us into the EUSSR. An ever bloated NHS fixated on targets not healthcare while it sucks wealth from the country. A once valued police force which is now widely distrusted, feared and despised. Imprisonment within the political abortion that is the EU. An ever growing political class that leeches on my country and cares only for their own power and wealth to such an extent that they will happily run a country into the ground through their vanity and ineptitude.

Do you really think I wanted or even agreed with any of this? Nope I was just expected to shut up and pay my taxes while my rights and beliefs were removed and undermined.

It was the political class that brought our country so low and it was the political class that got us in this current financial mess. You are one of the political class Dave, you always have been. Shiny and clean you may be on the surface, but inside you are dirty, dark, bought and paid for. You are no different to the Blairs, Browns, Cleggs, Obamas, Chavezes, Kinnocks and Barrosos of this world.

Well Dave, as you say, my country may need me, I'm just not sure I need or want it. Basically you are asking me and the millions like me to pull you out of the crap, because, let's face it, without us you are screwed. You can't do it on your own can you? The country's army of workshy benefit scum can't help. The unionised public sector can't help and wouldn't even if they could. Your bum chums in the EU can't help. So without us you might as well dissolve the coagulation and call an election, we'll get a new set of blue, red or yellow lefty bloodsuckers spouting the same old crap so it makes no odds to me.

Well if you want my help it's going to cost you, I'm fed up of doing my bit while you lot leech off me and erode my rights and values so this time I want something in return and I want it up front because your credit rating is crap and I, for one, have no faith in your cast-iron guarantees.

So here's a list of things you need to do to get me on-side

1. Give us a straight forward "should we stay in or come out of the EU" referendum
2. Disband ACPO as a first step toward restoring a British police force rather than the european model thugs they are becoming.
3. Repeal the Human Rights Act.
4. Have Chris Huhne shot (or sacked, provided he never again holds a government post).
5. Put in train legislation to sell the BBC to the highest bidder.

Once you have me on side you are going to have to do lots of other stuff to keep me on side. I'll get to those if and when you have sorted requirements 1 to 5. Until then you can wander about shouting about fairness, progressiveness, fairness, pulling together, fairness, big society and fairness as much as you want and I'll just continue to laugh at you, you smug, shiny little twat.

Do we have a deal Dave?