Thursday, September 16, 2010

Gladiator 2 - Maximus does Nottingham

Robin Hood (2010) staring that bloke out of Romper Stomper.

Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding through the glen, er, no. No glens, no merry men, no archery tounement, no return of King Richard at the end and bugger all Sherwood Forest. Also medieval Nottingham seems to have had one hell of a binge drinking problem.

Marian, not so much maid as gobby, widowed hag who despite her slender build was capable of drawing an English warbow.

Russel Crowe is Maximus Decimus Meridius in medeval England with, what seemd to be, an Irish accent. A word to the wise Mr. Crowe, any more of this sort of nonsense and me and The Boy will make a film about what a bum boy EdmundHillary was, OK?

Robin certainly didn't live in Sherwood. Nope Sherwood was where the chavs from the sink estates of Nottingham gathered to play at being the "Lost Boys" from Peter Pan.

The fight scenes are OK but there aren't enough of them and Marion riding into the final battle at the head of the Lost Boy chavs was as silly as it was predictable. Mr. Strong does a Moriarty reprise as the really quite unpleasant Godfrey.

Look folks, I know Robin Hood is a legend but he's our legend. We've got a bloody airport named after him for crying out loud. He wasn't an Kiwi who couldn't do an English accent, he was the finest bowman in all England, courageous and true. Marion wasn't a widowed fish wife, she was a fair maid and ward of King Richard. Robin had a whole gang of merry men, they were honest outlaws, they lived in Sherwood, drank ale and sang. They were not four lager louts whoring it up down the boozer. So please just bugger off and stop rewriting our culture into politically correct crap. You bastards, yes that includes you Sir Ridley.

I would rate this film :- Give me Errol Flynn any day.

Edited coz I got Mr. Crowe's nationality wrong. H/T Adelaide Girl in the comments

2 comments:

  1. He is a Kiwi not an Aussie and no there is a difference.

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  2. My sincere apologies, however that makes his bad accent even more unforgivable, everyone knows the kiwi's are more intelegent than aussies ;-)

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