Monday, September 6, 2010

Beware of Woopsies Behind the Wheel

Inspector Rachel Prejudice of the South Yorkshire police is suing the force for sexual harassment over the planned installation of parking sensors in the forces vehicles. Interviewed for the Police Review magazine she said

"This is male chauvinism gone mad. Although the force has not said as much in any of its communications on this matter it is well known within the force that the vast majority of parking mishaps occur when WPCs are trying to park vehicles. We women law enforcers will not put up with rampant sexism like this. If it was mainly male officers doing this they would get extra training. It seems the force doesn't think it's worthwhile to give women officers the same training. This is sexism"

Asked whether she thought the sensors would reduce the number of police cars damaged during parking she replied

"Absolutely not, how are you supposed to hear the beeping when you have your iPod headphones in and that damned police radio squawking at you every few minute. I have parked vehicles in some of our forces station yards and it is a nightmare. Reversing a normal sized police car into a normal size space is very difficult, especially when you are using the mirror to check your makeup and trying to give a passing studly, DC a glance down your cleavage."

When asked what alternatives she would offer to the parking sensors she responded

"Smaller police cars and bigger parking spaces. I think those lovely little Fiat 500s would look really cool in police livery, especially if we got some soft-top ones for cruising the beat in summer. Cars that park themselves would be a good idea too."

Inspector Prejudice, who heads up the Travellers Liaison Squad of South Yourshitre Police has been on sick leave with stress since June 2009 following an incident in which a leader of the travelkling community told her that her arse looked big in her uniform trousers.

Commenting on the impending law suit Asst Chief Constable Dave Girlyman said

"I would like to apologise to Inspector Prejudice and all female officers for the forces high handed sexist actions in this matter. These were not of our choosing but were forced on us by the the coalition government. I would add that we have begun a feasibility studie into buying self parking Fiat 500s for the force."

OOPS - In Notts it looks like it isn't only the woopsies (WPCs) who can't drive.

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