Thursday, February 23, 2012

Dolby Wibble Nullification

Did you ever wonder why you were encouraged and then forced to switch to Digital TV? Did you wonder why you had to fork out for new aerial/telly/digibox? Are you still waiting for the your life to improve beyond all measure now that you have your digital nirvana set up in your sitting room?

Well if you did/are you are a real muppet. For all you muppets out there here's the reason.

So having gone and bought all that lovely new kit at your own expense you're now going to get to pay some more to get a clear picture on your new telly through your mobile phone bill. Because let's face it the cost of all these filters and other necessary remedial action isn't going to come off the successful bidders bottom line is it?

We don't have a working TV anymore. I'm stupid enough already and TV only makes you stupider so it had to go.

The bloke next door to me has the lot, HD, surround sound, digital sub tweeters, mega amplified 3D surround bloody smellovision with nicam digital over-thrust and dolby wibble nullification. In his attempts to get a decent picture on his state of the art home entertainment system he has so far; chopped down half the trees in his garden, got cross with me for not chopping down half my trees, had his aerial replaced 3 times paid a youngster in the village to stand on his roof to wiggle the areal about at random, he even had the vicar perform an exorcism on his digibox. Sadly for him every time it rains of the wind blows or it is foggy or sunny or it's dark or not dark enough his picture quality declines to something akin to watching an original Logie-baird prototype viewed the wrong way through binoculars with the lenses smeared in vaseline. All that just so he can watch repeats of Lovejoy, and he thinks I'm stupid for not having a telly these days. He seems somewhat bemused that I now refer to him as Kermit?

Looks like I'm not the only one with a few gripes about TVs these days. Beyond stupid.

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