I had a nasty letter from my bank manager yesterday. I have reproduced the contents below.
Dear Mr. Rex
Re Your loan application and overdraft extension.
It has been brought to my attention that your account with our bank has a considerable negative balance. On top of that you have a number of pre-existing loans which you are currently unable to service.
One has to question why you felt it appropriate to apply for yet another loan. Had this been a case of consolidating your other loans into a single larger loan payable over a longer term the bank may have looked upon your application more favourably. Unfortunately I cannot see any merit in you borrowing more money so you can, in your words, send it to your friends in Africa. I must therefore decline your loan application at this time.
With regard to your request for a larger overdraft facility. I must confess that I can see some merit in this application wanting to provide your family with good health care insurance is a noble idea. Unfortunately the premiums you are required to pay are excessively high. Having spoken to your medical insurer I understand that you have been allowing any Tom, Dick or Harry to claim on your policy rather than restricting it to members of your immediate family which your policy was intended to cover. Under the circumstances I have no option but to decline your request on this matter.
In closing I would point out that the country is not in good financial shape at the moment and we must all cut our cloth according to our purse. Your purse does not stretch to giving money to your poor friends in foreign countries or paying for the health care for anyone who wanders by. While I sympathise with your claim that you had lots of money which was stolen by a scotsman it is now something of a moot point and you need to move on.
Yours Sincerely
J. Arthur Banker
My wife was less than pleased when we could not keep up the mortgage payment last month, of course being a man (me that is and not her) it was obvious that the blame should be laid at my feet. Unfortunately for me she had laid the blame in the exact place. She was very unforgiveing to say the least when I explained that I did not realise how much champagne would cost nor was I aware of the fiscal outcome of purchasing private dances at the lapdancing club that I decided to visit on the way to the bank with the money she had scrimped and scraped to save. God I miss my wife sometimes.
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