Donald the Fig Tree

I see that fearless champion of the British Taxpayer John Bercow has come out fighting on our behalf. Mr. Bercow is a politician and a particularly nasty, slimy one at that so we at DRex decided not to take his words at face value and looked deeper. In our never ending struggle to bring you the truth we decided to get the real skinny from one of the fig trees in question. After much persuasion we prevailed on Donald the Fig Tree (DtFT) to give us a brief interview :-

DRex - So Donald Mr Bercow thinks you are a waste of money

DtFT - I kinda resent that, £30,000 for 12 trees works out at only £2,500 each per year. Believe me you stand around here for very long, like us, and you will see so much waste 30 grand is less than a drop in the ocean.

DRex - But £2,500 is a lot of money it's even more than David Cameroon claims on expenses each week for having his face polished.

DtFT - Listen mate those blinds over there, electric they are £2 million they cost. They spent £110,000 on flowers in the last 3 years. You lot subsidise the bars and food for the troughers you call the political elite to the tune of £5.8 million a year. This building was supposed to cost £165 Million but ended up costing £235 million and you are moaning about a few thousand for trees.

DRex - Rubbish if it has been that expensive there would have been an outcry, an enquiry.

DtFT - Course there was and the report was finished in 2000, they just never published it.

DRex - I think you are making this up Donald I have read the BBC News report on what that nice Mr. Bercow is saying and it mentions nothing of this.

DtFT - No Shit Sherlock, you ever hear of a politician being honest?. We are being made scapegoats. Besides rumour has it the MPs wanted rid of us anyway to make room for their new gold plate sedan chairs, can't have them and their hangers on walking about the place like normal people can we?

DRex - Anyway Don me old mate looks like you are gonna be out of here soon. Will you miss the place.

DtFT - Don't be stupid we can't wait to get out of here.There used to be 30 of us. You see that empty space over there? My mate Mike used to be there then one day that Harman thing got too close to him and all his leaves fell off and his trunk drooped. There was no saving him, he's just wood chips on someones herbaceous border now. Similar happened to Georgina, she used to stand over there till one day Ken Clarke brushed against her, she died within hours, the rest went in similar fashion and now there are just 12 of us.

DRex - So it's pretty toxic in here for you trees.

DtFT - Hell yes but there is one good thing about this place, the bullshit. This place is so full of it we never went hungry.

Trees, Flowers and Naked Women

Sorry folks there aren't really any naked ladies in this post.

Oh dear, I see that the ever tolerant lefties, atheists and gayers have got their panties in a bunch about that nice old nazi, Pope Ratzinger coming to the UK. Funny, but I don't recall these people making any fuss when some swivel eyed, loony from the ROP comes over here spouting anti women and anti-gay values, especially the Southall Black Sisters (not sure if this is a motown trio or some racist, anti-white gang) or The Richmond upon Thames LGBT Forum (their web site is awsome, I am tempted to join just for the bingo night) or the Gay & Lesbian Humanist Association. I hesitate to suggest that these people know that if they protest against the Pope they are in little physical danger but that they are too cowardly to protest against the peaceful ones.

So let's have a look at what the supporters of this mass outbreak of righteous indignation believe is wrong with Catholicism, surely this will tell us why they see fit to protest the Pope but not islam.

Members of the campaign agree the following view:

That the Pope, as a citizen of Europe and the leader of a religion with many adherents in the UK, is of course free to enter and tour our country.
Well that's very kind of you but I don’t think it is up to you who comes to this country.

However, as well as a religious leader, the Pope is a head of state and the state and organisation of which he is head has been responsible for:

1. opposing the distribution of condoms and so increasing large families in poor countries and the spread of AIDS. But muslims aren't breeding like rabbits at all.
2. promoting segregated education. Whereas the ROP merely believes women should not be educated at all.
3. denying abortion to even the most vulnerable women. Couldn't find a definitive view on this. Suffice to say some women will be stoned for having abortions and some will be stoned for not having them, probably.
4. opposing equal rights for lesbians, gay, bisexual and transgender people - under islam of course there is no question of rights, it's merely a matter of which method of stoning to use.
5. failing to address the many cases of abuse of children within its own organisation. - Whereas the forced marriage of girls as young as 9 or ten to dirty old muslims is just fine.
6. rehabilitating the holocaust denier bishop Richard Williamson and the appeaser of Hitler, the war-time Pope, Pius XII. Because of course there are no muslim holocaust deniers.

The state of which the Pope is the head has also resisted signing many major human rights treaties and has formed its own treaties (‘concordats’) with many states which negatively affect the human rights of citizens of those states. If some of the links above don't show you what the muslim approach to human rights is do some googling, I'm fed up putting links in this post.

As a head of state, the Pope is an unsuitable guest of the UK government and should not be accorded the honour and recognition of a state visit to our country. Er, no. As head of state he is the most appropriate person for the UK government to invite. Or do this lot think we should have invited his toilet cleaner instead?

So there you have it. The bigoted atheist, feminist and gay lobbies will protest the Pope because at the end of the day what's the worst that can happen? I dare say that if push comes to shove his venerable Josephness will forgive them and offer prayers for their souls. But don't expect these yellow belly protesters to do anything but hide when a muslim says gays should be stoned, or women are merely possessions.

Just so you know I am not catholic and I don't give a stuff whether the Pope visits the UK or not. I strongly disagree with most of what the catholic church says and does but each to his own.

As for my own religious leanings, some friends and I have our own religion. We worship trees and flowers and naked women, we don't usually bother with the trees and flowers though. We pray and sing and dance with the naked women, we usually give the songs and prayers a miss to be honest.