Dear Mr Brown
As a result of the Icelandic ash cloud my family and I are currently stuck in a strange place with very little money and no way to fly home. I read in the English papers that you would be sending Navy ships to rescue UK citizens stranded away from home. We have therefore made the long trek form our holiday resort to the nearest seaport.
We are unable to afford hotel accommodation as prices here are very high and me and my family have had to resort to begging on the streets just to be able to pay for a family room in a rough guest house down by the docks. This is frequented by some very dodgy looking sailors and we feel very unsafe.
We have now been stuck in this godforsaken place for 3 days and I am beginning to wonder if we will ever get home. Meanwhile I have heard from my employer that I need to return to work as soon as possible because I am the only teacher at my school properly qualified to teach the Diversity module of our Citizenship program.
Could you therefore advise me when the Royal Navy will be arriving in Lowestoft and how they propose to get me and my family home to Norwich. Having made my way from Great Yarmouth to Lowestoft under my own steam I think the least you can do is to send an aircraft carrier to get us the rest of the way home safely.