For Harry, England and Saint George

The Muslim Counsel of Britain (MCoB) and the Association of Black Police Officers (AoBPO) have teamed up to campaign for the removal of the flag of Saint George as the national flag of England.

Speaking at a press conference yesterday PC Delboy Odious speaking on behalf of the AoBPO said. "The current flag has too much white on it and no black at all. It is obvious that this flag was selected for England specifically to make black people feel excluded. I have been a police officer for many years and have an exemplary record of beating up unarmed protesters. Is it right that I have given my life to public service just to be alienated by the English national flag?

Speaking in support of PC Odious, Ali bin ali bin ali bin of the MCoB said "Not only are large areas of this flag white which also makes us feel alienated. It also contains the colour red which is offensive to muslims. I personally am a moderate muslim and a man of peace but mark my words if we don't get what we want I wouldn't be surprised if some of our more passionate brothers start blowing this blasphemous flag up."

Mr Ali bin ali bin ali bin continued "The AoBPO and the MCoB have worked long and hard on bringing the English flag up to date and make it relevant to England in the 21st century. We have come up with a design which will please everyone. The design is of such universal appeal that only a racist could find fault with it. I personally am a moderate muslim and a man of peace but mark my words if we don't get what we want I wouldn't be surprised if some of our more passionate brothers start blowing up people who speak out against this new inclusive flag."

At this point the press conference erupted in chaos as PC Odious noticed one of the press core was holding a carton of orange juice. He lept from the stage and beat the reporter to the ground with his night stick. The IPCC has been quick to clear PC Odious of any wrong-doing for the hospitalisation of the reporter. PC Odious claimed to have mistaken the carton of orange juice for a Kalashnikov assault rifle and stated that he was in fear of his life when he set about the reporter.

All three main party leaders have promised to make consideration of adopting the new flag a priority if they win the election.

Proposed new English flag