Mr. Straw, who has convictions for possession of a dirty raincoat with intent, kerb crawling and being a total twat in a public place with malice aforethought spoke about the poll’s finding last night. He said "When you get to be as old as me it is not unreasonable to want to have lots of pretty young children sit on you lap. Having an unhealthy interest in young children does not make me a pedophile." Mr. Straw went on to defend his campaign to have Maggot Trotting classified as an Olympic event at the 2012 games.