Jumpin Jack Flasher

In a poll out today Justice Secretary Jack Straw has been voted the person most likely to molest a child. The Poll was carried out by UGov on behalf of the Deniersaurus-Rex Blog. The Poll found that 98% of people asked to identify the pedophile whilst being show pictures of Tony Blair, David Cameron, William Hague, Garry Glitter and Jack Straw selected the Justice Secretary as the person they believed was most likely a pedophile. When asked why they made their selection the majority said "It looks just like that dirty old perve who hangs around our local playground"

Mr. Straw, who has convictions for possession of a dirty raincoat with intent, kerb crawling and being a total twat in a public place with malice aforethought spoke about the poll’s finding last night. He said "When you get to be as old as me it is not unreasonable to want to have lots of pretty young children sit on you lap. Having an unhealthy interest in young children does not make me a pedophile." Mr. Straw went on to defend his campaign to have Maggot Trotting classified as an Olympic event at the 2012 games.