Water Absolute Shower

Dear Anglia Water

I have heard rumours that there might be a ban on the use of hosepipes in my area but in the absense of any formal notification from you or anyone else I am going to assume it does not apply to my property. I hasten to add that the rumours I heard were on the internet and you can't believe anything you read on there can you?

However if you believe my property is affected by the ban I would be grateful if you would let me know on what grounds you believe I should curtail my water usage. Please note, your percieved necessity to hand out large parts of your profits in the form of bonuses and shareholder dividends, rather than investing it in the water infrastructure will not be seen as a valid reason. Likewis, lack of rain is not a valid reason as this would merely points to your own lack of investment in storage capacity and failure to deal with your leakage problems.

Also, should you believe that the hosepipe ban affects my property I would be happy to enter negotiations with you on the size of the discount that I can expect on my water bills to reflect the reduction in the service you are providing. Your company is run for profit just like my local shop. If I go there to buy a large loaf and all they have are small ones I don't get as much bread but I don't have to pay as much. I expect nothing less from a large corporations such as yourselves. Do you see how that works? If you are not going to give me less water I damn well expect to pay less.

I strongly suspect you will not reply in a proper fashion to this letter, if you reply at all. So I give you fair notice that until I am formally notified that the ban applies to my property and am provided with valid reasons (not indicators of your own ineptitude) I will not curtail my water usage. Until we can agree an appropriate reduction in my bills for the duration of the ban I will not curtail my water usage. Until you stop paying out bonuses and shareholder dividends (especially to foreign investors) and bring your infrastructure up to a decent standard I will not curtail my water usage.

Anglia Water Group, "Love Every Drop". I think u mean "Profitise Every Drop" the old state old Water Board did it better, cheaper and without the fatuous motto.

Yours
Deniersaurus-Rex