Deal or No Deal

Well shiny Dave Cameroon you really are full of crap aren't you.

I know this was a conference speech but you don't expect us ordinary folk to buy the cobblers you are pushingl, do you?

"We're all in this together", "We must all pull together", how jolly progressive, call me Comrade Dave.

You say my country needs me, well matey boy, I have been doing my bit for a good number of years now. And during these years what have I seen the political class do to my country?

I have seen the rise and rise of the ranks of the feckless getting fat on the sweat of my brow. Mass immigration aimed at destroying our national identity making it easier to integrate us into the EUSSR. An ever bloated NHS fixated on targets not healthcare while it sucks wealth from the country. A once valued police force which is now widely distrusted, feared and despised. Imprisonment within the political abortion that is the EU. An ever growing political class that leeches on my country and cares only for their own power and wealth to such an extent that they will happily run a country into the ground through their vanity and ineptitude.

Do you really think I wanted or even agreed with any of this? Nope I was just expected to shut up and pay my taxes while my rights and beliefs were removed and undermined.

It was the political class that brought our country so low and it was the political class that got us in this current financial mess. You are one of the political class Dave, you always have been. Shiny and clean you may be on the surface, but inside you are dirty, dark, bought and paid for. You are no different to the Blairs, Browns, Cleggs, Obamas, Chavezes, Kinnocks and Barrosos of this world.

Well Dave, as you say, my country may need me, I'm just not sure I need or want it. Basically you are asking me and the millions like me to pull you out of the crap, because, let's face it, without us you are screwed. You can't do it on your own can you? The country's army of workshy benefit scum can't help. The unionised public sector can't help and wouldn't even if they could. Your bum chums in the EU can't help. So without us you might as well dissolve the coagulation and call an election, we'll get a new set of blue, red or yellow lefty bloodsuckers spouting the same old crap so it makes no odds to me.

Well if you want my help it's going to cost you, I'm fed up of doing my bit while you lot leech off me and erode my rights and values so this time I want something in return and I want it up front because your credit rating is crap and I, for one, have no faith in your cast-iron guarantees.

So here's a list of things you need to do to get me on-side

1. Give us a straight forward "should we stay in or come out of the EU" referendum
2. Disband ACPO as a first step toward restoring a British police force rather than the european model thugs they are becoming.
3. Repeal the Human Rights Act.
4. Have Chris Huhne shot (or sacked, provided he never again holds a government post).
5. Put in train legislation to sell the BBC to the highest bidder.

Once you have me on side you are going to have to do lots of other stuff to keep me on side. I'll get to those if and when you have sorted requirements 1 to 5. Until then you can wander about shouting about fairness, progressiveness, fairness, pulling together, fairness, big society and fairness as much as you want and I'll just continue to laugh at you, you smug, shiny little twat.

Do we have a deal Dave?

Crack Down On Me NOW Baby

Yes, YES, YES.

Oh my goodness what an excellent idea. I do so hope we get this where I live soon. It will finally give me the opportunity to report all the people who I think shouldn't be on the road. I would urge you all get behind this initiative.

I wonder if this is one of Mr. Cameron's new wheezes, it does sound a bit Big Society or am I getting my societies mixed up with my brothers again.

Just to give you some idea of how great this will be here is a short list of the some of the types of people I will consider reporting on a daily basis.

Every Prius and Smart car.
Every police vehicle and tallyvan.
Every doddery old twat holding up the fast lane.
Every lorry with a "this vehicle is limited to 40 Mph on single carriageway" sign.
Every twat riding a horse on a road.
Every tractor, agricultural vehicle and JCB.
Every person who drives with their headlights on during the day.
Every vehicle with a foreign number plate.
Every vehicle containing someone who looks like they might be a member of the religion of peace and a backpack.
Every vehicle with the EU flag on its number plate, or anywhere else.
Every vehicle with GTI on the back*
Every vehicle with a "Dads Taxi", "Baby on Board" or other stupid sign or sticker.
Every woman driver who can't see over her steering wheel.
Every sad twat that drives like he is in the BMW he really wanted while he's actually driving the people-carrier his wife made him buy.
Every vehicle in which I can see a cuddly toy.
Every driver that won't let me out at a junction.
Every vehicle which I think needs a good wash.
Every vehicle which looks too clean.
Cars parked on the drives of houses bigger than mine.
Every driver I see wearing a hat in car.
Any lorry driver I see not wearing a shirt.
Any vehicle which I suspect may be connected in any way to the BBC.
Absolutely every caravaner and dormabile, moving or parked.
Anybody who looks at me funny.
And, of course my boss and that pillock from accounts who keeps querying my budget.
Anyone not on the above list.

Oh but revenge will be so sweet. Imagine the poor sap, standing there getting well and truly told off by an officer of the law. Unless of course he realises that the best course of action is to invite the officer to lay any charges and evidence before a court and then tell him to get the hell off your property.

They did say these were annonymous reports didn't they? What could possibly go wrong with such a brilliant idea?

* Did you know that the man who invented the term GTi was dyslexic?

Everybody Whinge Now

OK here's a little test for you, see if you can work out whether I work in the public or private sector.

We got some bad but not unexpected news at work today. Due to the current financial situation the organisation's pension scheme is having problems. To remedy this our employer will be taking bigger pension contributions from our wages each month and the pensions we receive at retirement will be a deal smaller than we had previously expected.

Within minutes of the official letters being distributed they had been read and put away and everyone was getting on with their work. There were no rants about how unfair it all is. There were no threats to strike and there were no threats to lynch the directors or to march on London to burn down all the banks.

So to all the public sector wonks out there who they believe they are being treated unfairly with regards to pay and pensions I say:-

"Do shut up, we are fed up of hearing your endless whinging. You should remember that if it wasn't for Labour's gerrymandering most of you probably wouldn't have a cushy public sector job at all. So think yourselves lucky, shut the fuck up and take your medicine like the rest of us."

I'm still waiting for someone from the BBC to show up to ask us how we feel about our pension cuts.

Bugger the BBC

I haven't been on the BBC News site for a while. I visited today and was reminded why I don't go there much. Here are a selection of what their news items:-

X-Factor contestant to be deported

Good, if I had my way every single X-Factor contestant would be deported to Zimbabwe or shot or both and in the case of the 200,000 members of her Faceache support page all 3.

Hague talks more bollocks

"It will make clear that EU directives take effect in the UK only by the will of Parliament, which can be withdrawn."

Oh shut up you silly little twerp. Your promises on Europe are worthless, you are a bare faced liar just like Cast-Iron Cameron so wind your neck in, shut your yap and go back to not having gay sex. Tosser.

Not gay, but is he a friend of William?

Gosh but this not being gay business is really catching on

Gilles de Kerchove is a European twat
EU officials have renewed warnings that the threat from al-Qaeda is real and ongoing.

"Public officials would not terrify the population without anything to back it up," said EU anti-terrorism co-coordinator Gilles de Kerchove, in comments reported by the AFP news agency.

Oh yes they would, they do it all the time it's how they keep the sheeple in line you stupid euro-weenie.

Splattergate 2 - The Vivisectioning

Just a thought.

Denier of the Month

I wish to extend my most sincere and heartfelt thanks to Mr Richard Curtis, for making the 10:10 Splattergate film. With this magnum opus he has done more to undermine the AGW religion than certainly I, and perhaps even some serious skeptics, could hope to.

He has cast a very public, very revealing light into the dark mindset of the warmist zealot. This was supposed to be comedy, we were supposed to laugh. Jesus H. Christ on a bike I thought I had a warped sense of humour. I will say one thing, it's the first Richard Curtis film that I have actually watched and if he keeps on making them like this Robert Rodriguez is going to be out of a job.

Well 10:10 wanted publicity from this film and thanks to my new best friend Dicky C. they got exactly the type of publicity they deserved.

So to Mr Curtis, the footballers (whoever they were), the school kids, the offices workers and to thinking-man's-totty turned eco-bimbo Silly Gilly Anderson I say "Thank you, this is just what the AGW debate needed."

So ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for the first ever Deniersaurus-Rex, Denier of the Month :-

Mr. Richard Curtis, Denier of the month and a
true deniersaurus if ever I saw one.

See, I bloody told you there was a James J. Lee inside every warmist.

Just Call Me Doris

Take two households.

Household 1 has one earner(me) and 2 children (the Boy and Monkeygirl). A 5 year old Ford sits on the drive. The household income is in excess of £37,400 and we live within our means. According to the coagulation, I am rich and will loose £132 per month Family Allowance (you call it benefit if you want).

Household 2 has 2 earners (my neighbours) and 2 children. Two 2009 BMWs on the drive, A couple of foreign holidays a year, credit card debts up the yingyang and a household income in excess of £70,000. They will continue to receive £132 per month Family allowance.

Putting aside the, perceived, rights and wrongs of universal Family Allowance, would someone from the coagulation please explain to me how the hell this can be described in any way, shape or form as being FAIR.

It's not like it is my choice to be the only earner, I am widowed so have no option. Perhaps this is where I am going wrong. Maybe if I change my name to Doris and start referring to myself as a single parent or better yet if I get a sex change on the NHS, claim the hallowed Single Mother status I will be given all the free money I can eat. I'd do it too but then I'd have to rename the blog to Deniersaurus-Regina and that just sounds silly.

Blair,Brown - Cameron, Osbourne - peas, pod.